Stella’s Suggestions Vol III

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Welcome back to Stella’s Suggestions! I know it’s been a while, but even geniuses need breaks. 

I have many mental issues and it’s really hard to get motivated to clean my room or do laundry often. I’m so embarrassed that my room is so gross but I just feel like I can’t clean it sometimes. Do you have any tips to get motivated?

Although I claim to be perfect with absolutely zero flaws, I must admit that I myself have experienced this too. During my episodes such as these, I found it helpful to do tasks in smaller fragments. For example, clean your room as much as you can for ten minutes, or only do half of your laundry. When you’re done, give yourself some sort of reward, like a nap or an episode of “Portlandia.” Over time, it’ll make these tasks easier to accomplish.

My family is moving away this summer and probably won’t be back in Boulder for awhile. Do I bother telling people that I’m leaving permanently if I’m going to college out of state anyways?

I think it would mean a lot to the people you’re close to if you told them. Even though it might feel unnecessary, your friends care about you. I’m sure they’d like to know what’s going on in your life. Plus, it’ll prevent some awkward conversations when everyone comes back for Thanksgiving Break. 

Hi Stella, I hope you are doing well! I wanted to say that the future and change are scary. I love the connection I have made with the people that are the closest to me. However, a lot of the kids I consider my “best friends” are in a grade below me. I was just wondering if you had any advice on how to have a good balance between holding onto the past but also being excited about the future and not being afraid to branch out and make connections with the new people that are going to be coming into my life, such as my fellow classmates when I go off to college.

I know it’s hard, but you have room for more people in your life than you think. I can tell your friendships are meaningful, and I promise making new friends at college won’t take that away. I’ve been maintaining friendships with my close friends who are in college, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that they still reach out to me, no matter how many new friends they make. Although it’s “encouraged” to not hold onto the past, it’s important to not get caught up and let go with things like friendship. You’ll be grateful to have them in your life during the hardships that come with college. However, don’t let this discourage you from making friends at school in the fall. It’s beneficial to have different friends from different places and have people that support you, close and far.

How do I decide what school to go to? I’m losing it.

It’s important to analyze what college experience you truly want. For me, this came by getting waitlisted from my top school. This temporary heartbreak gave me the opportunity to look into my other options, and I realized that my “top school” was far from the experience I truly craved. I’d say make a pro and con list, and as painful as it is, maybe consult with your parents. I know this isn’t the best advice, but what do you see when you picture yourself at college? What kind of environment do you thrive in? Write down the qualities of an ideal university and try to see what matches best. 

I’ll just start out by saying I’m a senior. My burnout is pretty bad. I don’t have any more credit fulfillments left to graduate and I’m pretty done with school. How do I get through the rest of the year?

I know exactly how you’re feeling and I’m feeling it as well. School feels pointless, and every day when I wake up at 6:30 AM to get ready for school, I wonder why I’m even going. I’m not going to encourage you to put minimal effort into your schoolwork, but I’ve personally seen school recently as a way to connect with my fellow seniors before we all leave. And truthfully, we’re never going to experience high school again. I know going to class when you’re almost done is unbearable, but don’t let it slip away too fast—you might regret it.