“The Missing Link:” A Modern Take on Prehistoric Homosexuality

The+Missing+Link+isnt+a+good+movie%2C+but+maybe+you+should+watch+it+anyway.+

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“The Missing Link” isn’t a good movie, but maybe you should watch it anyway.

During the month of October, our group of friends had been getting into the Halloween spirit by watching a few horror movies each week. One weekend after watching Stickman – a frightening thriller about a monster who invades your dreams and attempts to murder you if you speak its name – the movie The Missing Link came up in our recommendations. After watching the trailer it was very apparent that this was not a horror movie but instead a low-budget, prehistoric version of Queer Eye. The film left a considerable impression on all of us and leaves its viewers with many questions about society, but it must be noted that The Missing Link cannot be considered, in any way, to be a good movie.

Starring Tiffany Collie, Anna Curtis, and Allen English and directed by the equally obscure Markus Innocenti, The Missing Link was released in 2018. The release date and cast are essentially the extent of the information that can be found on the internet about the film, but the good news is that watching this movie is free of charge, available nationally on Amazon Prime and likely a variety of more disreputable websites. 

Promoted as “A Stone Age Fairy Tale,” The Missing Link tells the story of Patrick, the first gay caveman, a plot that was as bizarrely executed as it was conceptualized. While first disregarded and misunderstood due to his unusual manner of living, this new addition to the cavepeople’s camp proves to be a welcome asset. In addition to providing knowledge on how to best survive the Stone Age, Patrick further proves his utility by offering advice to improve the dynamic between the ever-horny cavemen and the underappreciated cavewomen. As you embark on the rollercoaster-trainwreck that is viewing this film, expect to see top-notch prehistoric costume design straight from the shelves of Spirit Halloween, a horrendous quantity of stereotypes and the worst CGI sabertooth since the days they first walked the earth. 

If you could even consider the movie having a plot, the main storyline would have to be that of the women leaving camp due to how poorly they’re treated. This feminist movement leads the men of camp to realize how much they rely on the women and miss their company. But unlike in our country today, after the men realize how important women are, they actually improve themselves to make a better environment for their female companions. This is most prevalent in their relationships. Both the men and women learn to have healthy relationships that both comfort and push the boundaries of themselves as individuals. The Missing Link successfully progresses their characters and by the end of the movie, the cavepeople are happier and improved versions of themselves. Of course, none of this would have happened without the resident homosexual Patrick. Patrick is a perfect example of how everyone, no matter their identity, is important to the prosperity of the tribe. In fact, The Missing Link is one of the most diverse movies on the internet now, including everyone from Jews to immigrants to plus-size individuals. Anyone who watches the movie will see how well this cosmopolitan tribe functions.

Despite the good-natured, inclusive concept, The Missing Link is unfortunately not nearly as empowering as one may hope, given it finds the way to offend probably every minority in existence. The excessive use of stereotypes to convey that the lead is gay rather than just have him announce it upright or, God forbid, express attraction to a man, will likely irritate the gays. Jews may have a problem with the killing off of a character wearing a kippah, women could be disappointed by the constant sexualization and objectification of their predecessors and anyone who struggles with body image should probably just skip the last 40 minutes altogether. Probably most unacceptable is the film’s portrayal of Black cavemen, depicting the two Black characters as primitive stoners with a strong love for fried chicken and big butts. Nevertheless, the movie certainly doesn’t take itself seriously, so as long as you go into the film with an equally lighthearted mindset, you should be able to laugh off all of the above aspects enough to enjoy the utter ridiculousness of the movie.

If you are wondering if The Missing Link is worth the watch, it most definitely is. Even though it is offensive to almost everyone who watches it and is a weak attempt at best at combating social issues such as misogyny and homophobia, it is at the very least a good laugh. If that’s not enough you can just pay attention to Patrick’s rippling back muscles and his increasingly skimpy wardrobe.