Biden’s Retorts, Rated
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Presidential candidate Joe Biden had a lot to say to President Trump on a Tuesday night’s debate.
The first presidential debate between former Vice President Biden and President Trump last night was full of interruptions and false statements. Trump is known for his abrasive style and he stayed true to character; he talked over Biden and demanded to speak after Biden even when his agreed-upon time was over. Biden retorted with a variety of frustrated insults, which perhaps were the most tolerable parts of the debate. They varied in creativity, frustration and amusement, so I’ve compiled a ranking of Biden’s best comebacks.
“You’re the worst president America has ever had” (during the taxes segment)
Accurate, but not creative. Not particularly audible. 6/10
“Putin’s puppy” (during his segment on Trump’s record)
Very creative and the use of alliteration makes it catchy. Could have added an extra word for emphasis—might I offer “Putin’s pathetic puppy?” 8.5/10
“It’s hard to get in any word with this clown, excuse me, this person” (during the taxes segment.)
While less astute commentators might prefer Biden’s quote where he didn’t “correct” himself, this one shows snark, imagination and creativity. 9/10
“Oh, give me a break, man” (during the COVID-19 segment)
Terrible comeback to a personal attack. Points for saying “man” in the exact same tone that snowboarders do on powder days. 3/10
Weird laugh (whenever Trump spoke in his own allotted time, more or less)
Good at showing disbelief. The best one was when Chris Wallace (the moderator) and Biden shared the weird laugh. 8/10
“You should get out of your bunker and get out of the sand trap and get [off] your golf course” (during the COVID-19 segment)
Doesn’t roll off the tongue. Slightly repetitive. Successful in its attempt at getting under Trump’s skin. 7/10
“Everybody knows he’s a liar” (during the healthcare segment)
Very accurate—in fact, Trump lied many times during the debate itself. The comment wasn’t creative, but it was made better by how wide Biden’s eyes got when he said it. 6/10
“Will you shut up, man” (during the Supreme Court segment)
Proving he can represent the people by saying what was one everyone’s mind. How I wish Hillary Clinton could have said this too. 10/10
To quote Jake Tapper, “That was a hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck.” Hopefully, Biden will polish his insult game for the next two debates.
Hannah (rhymes with fauna!) Cohen is ecstatic to be working on the Owl for her third and final year. She loves stories in all their forms, but she mostly has opinions on obscure podcasts and which New York Times opinion columnists are defacing the good name of journalistic analysis. When not busy with stumbling through sheet music, editing nonfiction for jGirls+ Magazine, or seeking out the cheapest bluegrass venue, Hannah enjoys wandering around the mountains with her friends and lovely labradoodle. Although she's slightly preferential to the sweeter, more robust taste of red grapes, she knows that the bliss of biting into a crunchy grape transcends color.
Clara Thomas • Oct 2, 2020 at 2:50 pm
Although the debate was painful to watch, Biden’s responses were easily the best part. Personally, I’m partial to “It’s hard to get any word in with this clown,” it caught me by surprise when watching.
Halie Leland • Oct 2, 2020 at 2:10 pm
This is hilarious! “Will you shut up man” is by far the best quote from the debate.
Isabel Oliver • Oct 2, 2020 at 2:07 pm
OMG! The weird laughs were the best part! Even if he wasn’t saying anything you could totally tell he found his opponent as preposterous as the rest of us.