When I hear the words “Hallmark Movies,” a few things come to mind: Horrible tropes, middling cinematography, and formulaic plot arcs generally featuring some small-town girl traveling to “The Big City” and coming back to fall in love with her high school sweetheart. As someone who has never seen a Hallmark movie, I expect this when I sit down and watch one, which I hoped never to be coerced into doing before this article. To add a touch of research to this review, Hallmark has released 47 movies in total in 2024, with 32 on the Hallmark Channel, nine on Hallmark Mystery, and seven on Hallmark+. Now, for the entertainment of anyone who is in the holiday spirit reading this December edition, I have decided to put myself through what could be 2 of the worst movies I have ever seen or two movies that I will add forever to my holiday watchlist: The 5-Year Christmas Party, a 2024 release, starring Jordan Fisher and Katie Findlay, and Love, Lights, Hanukkah!, a 2020 release, starring Ben Savage and Mia Kirshner. 

The 5-Year Christmas Party

Summary: At the movie’s beginning, we meet Alice (Katie Findlay), an aspiring director, and her love interest, Max (Jordan Fisher), an actor with dreams of Hollywood. The movie covers the two characters through 5 years of Christmas parties, during which they always seem drawn together, catering alongside each other, among other adventures. Because they have different dreams, Alice draws the line at being friends after the first and second year’s parties, which increases to a little more than friends after the third year, gets quite complicated after the fourth year, but then the two ultimately end up together in a Hallmark-appropriate twist. 

Review: At the beginning of this movie, I thought it would be cringy, using caricatures of theater kids to relate to a larger audience. The movie does end up as a sweet, sentimental add-on to the portrayal of Christmas and how it fosters connection between friends and family. I think the beginning could have been a bit stronger, perhaps not leaning so heavily on the “theater kid” stereotyping as a crutch to draw people in, but it was sweet. I do have to say that, though the trope of the movie was cute and all, it does get redundant in how the main character, Alice, gets closer and closer to starting a relationship with Max, but then she freaks out and decides to be friends at the last minute. So, suppose you want to see a movie featuring a quirky main character described as being “dangerously smart” by her love interest, who seems to have a bit of a superiority complex near the beginning of the movie. In that case, you might have a lot of fun watching The 5-Year Christmas Party.

Ratings:

• Overall Score: 3/5 Stars
• Character Development: 4/5 Stars – I enjoyed how the characters grew as people, prioritized their dreams, and agreed that if they were meant to be, they would find each other next year. They never lost sight of their passions and who they were and stayed true to themselves while still being understanding of others.
• Plot: 2/5 Stars – Although I didn’t like the beginning of the movie, the plot becomes more enjoyable later on in the movie.
• Would I watch this trope again? I would, but it depends on the day. If you like a slow burn, this might be your cup of tea; however, it doesn’t necessarily wholeheartedly fit this trope. This is just one big “will they/won’t they?” thing, which can get annoying over time.
• Would I watch this movie again? I don’t think so, but that’s just my taste. For Christmas movies, I prefer Elf, White Christmas, and A Charlie Brown Christmas, among others. That classic feel just adds to the season, in my opinion. That isn’t to say this movie was terrible, but I’ve seen it better.

Love, Lights, Hanukkah!

Summary: The movie begins with a much softer take on the holiday season, bringing us around Cleveland with the snow and decor. The plot revolves around Christina (Mia Kirshner), who was adopted very young. After he mother passed on, she decided to take a DNA test to figure out her biological heritage. As someone who celebrated Christmas her whole life, she is astonished at the fact that she is 1/2 “European Jewish.” Finding her biological family, she decides to learn more about Hanukkah, meeting food critic David (Ben Savage), who gave Christina’s Italian restaurant middling reviews along the way. 

Review: Although an adorable movie that draws the viewer in with the intrigue and tensions between characters, I would have liked to see a strictly Hanukkah movie from Hallmark. There aren’t enough mainstream movies about Jewish holidays compared to Christian holidays, and the way they portrayed Christina learning about Hanukkah was interesting; I wanted to see more about traditional Jewish families. Also, there was a lack of research about Jewish heritage, especially in the part when Christina found out about her ancestry being “European Jewish”. There are many ethnicities within the Jewish faith due to the Jewish diaspora. When people of the Jewish faith were expelled from the Middle East, they went anywhere that would take them, which included Africa, Europe, and other parts of the Middle East, such as Iraq. From there, they developed their own cultures and ethnicities that were blends of their traditional Jewish culture and the culture of those around them at the time. To discuss Europe specifically, where Christina is said to have family, there are two main ethnicities: Ashkenazi Jews, who immigrated to Central and Eastern Europe, and Sephardic Jews, who immigrated to Spain, Portugal, North Africa, and Parts of the Middle East. I would have preferred further details about her faith to be explored in the movie instead of being very surface-level. I enjoyed how much care the movie gave to the fact that Christina was adopted and how she informed her biological mother that she was loved and that she was cared for, as that was an extraordinary and vulnerable moment in the movie. If you want an adorable love story that combines Christmas and Hanukkah, this is the movie for you!

Ratings:

• Overall Score: 4/5 Stars

• Character Development: 4/5 Stars I enjoyed this movie and the relationships it created, not just between the love interests but also between family members and everyone in between. It brought about the best spirit of the holiday season I could look for.
• Plot: 4/5 Stars Although I was iffy about the Christmas and Hanukkah plot, I enjoyed it. I do hope that there are more just Hanukkah movies that come out in the future from the Hallmark Channel and that they get more in-depth, but I know that’s not their style. 
• Would I watch this trope again? I could see myself watching this trope again, as it wasn’t played too harshly throughout the movie and was more of a side plot rather than the whole package. I do think this is what made the movie better than the previous one, as the focus was more family-centric rather than just on two people’s relationships throughout the entire movie. 
• Would I watch this movie again? Maybe. However, I prefer movies that aren’t in the formulaic Hallmark style. This one was better than the Christmas movie I picked so that I will choose this over that one. 

These were surprisingly bearable for someone who never thought she would ever watch a Hallmark movie (I cannot speak for the first 10 minutes of The 5-Year Christmas Party, though). If Hallmark is your thing, that’s great! If it isn’t, I understand entirely. If I have to rate them as Scores or Bores, they are more of a Bore, with some cringy moments to round them out. Happy Holidays from The Owl, whether Christmas, Hanukkah, or anything in between!