Stella’s Suggestions: Volume II

Hi there! Welcome to volume two of Stella’s Suggestions, where you tell me what’s been troubling you and I do my best to help!

My best friend has been dating this guy for a long time now but he is not treating her very well. Anytime we’ve tried to talk about it she defends him even though she complains about how terrible he is constantly. What can I do to help her?

This is a hard one and something that I often struggle with myself. Sometimes, you have to be the one to say something that your friend doesn’t want to hear. Unfortunately, you can’t control the ones you love and, as painful as it is, you just have to support them. Let your friend know that they can confide in you without judgment. One thing that I’ve had to learn the hard way is as much as you want to help someone, some people don’t want to be helped. At the end of the day, we’re high schoolers. As much as it sucks to see your friend in a messy relationship, it’s bound to end soon.

How do I get people to like me?

This is another hard question to answer since you’re anonymous. I have no idea who you are, nor the qualities you possess. For all I know, you could be the absolute worst person ever. But, since you read my advice column, you must be cool. All I can say is that confidence is key. Be happy with yourself and your character. People are attracted to those who are happy in their own skin and own their flaws.

So I have Tinder because I find it hard to find gay guys in person. And I always start these conversations with people, and it’s so much work to keep them going. They always end eventually. Should I just try to keep them going for a while? Ask the guy on a date? Or just give up on the app?

In my humble opinion, dating apps SUCK. However, I have the “privilege” of being able to find members of my preferred sex/gender with ease, so it’s hard to say. However, I’d say give the dating apps a break. Have a nice rest of the school year and summer without stressing about romance and awkward first dates. Once you get to college, it’ll be way easier to meet people. Not only will you be in a new environment with new people, but a lot of MLMs tend to come out in college. I wish you luck on your journey.

Isn’t it so crazy that we are literally adults now? Not a question, just an observation that contributes to my recent dilemmas.

You’re right about two things: firstly, it is crazy, and secondly, this isn’t a question. Nevertheless, I do want to respond since this is a weird and new notion for all of us seniors. I’m scared, but I’m also super excited. I know that graduating and leaving everything we’ve known is a risk, so we all have to put our faith in the universe and trust that there’s a plan for all of us. There are gonna be ups and downs, but everything that will happen is meant to be a learning experience. We have to just let our futures take their course.

I’m just feeling majorly burnt out. Everything just takes so much energy these days and my self-care has gone down the drain. I want to take better care of myself and boost my confidence but it’s like I’ve forgotten how to do that. Words of wisdom?

I totally know how you feel. With stress from school and a pandemic, it’s hard to take time for yourself because you’re so worried about everything that’s occurring externally. Self-care is both a mental and physical process and usually, with one comes the other. By simply buying a new, nice smelling shampoo or just shaving your legs, you can feel comfortable and confident. Furthermore, talking about your feelings with a friend or getting an assignment done early can ease your built-up stress and discomfort, making you look happier and more put-together on the outside. Whatever you can do to help yourself a bit will pay off, I promise. 

STELLA, I want to flirt with men but I just don’t know how to. Any advice?

Guys seem so complex but in reality, they’re so simple. It’s as easy as pretending to understand stocks or telling them that you think Quentin Tarantino is the best director of all time. Or you could just be yourself, but that’s kinda corny, isn’t it?